Don’t you agree with me that to be able to survive in nowaday’s society needs this skill? I can see my kids practicing this skill ALL THE TIME! Even when they were an infant.
Can you imagine what a 3.5 years old and a 2 years old can fight for? They can fight for a particular spot when sitting on a BIG couch. Fight to be the first one washing their hands. Fight to OWN me, e.g. one sitting on my lap and doesn’t allow the other to sit on my lap even if I have 2 legs. They each got a goody bag for Christmas from a drop-in early learning center. There’s a pencil, candy canes and a sticker book in it. One got a blue pencil and a green sticker book, the other got a green pencil and a red sticker book. From an adult’s view, they are exactly the same. From my kids’ eyes, THEY ARE DIFFERENT! That causes another fight. Carina got the one with a blue pencil from the teacher. When we got home, she wanted the one with green pencil. Of course Colton wouldn’t let her to have or even touch his. Waa waa waa….. Carina was pulling Colont’s bag, screaming and crying from the bottom of her throat. Colton was not any weaker than Carina. He held his bag so hard and tried to grab his bag back with his “NOoooo!” together with the crying, screaming and whinning.
You must be laughing at me when you read this. But I deal with this quite often. I learnt that getting mad at them won’t work, describing or speaking too much to them won’t work coz they won’t listen at that mood.
Separate them and pull them away from the scene, describe or explain after they calm down seems to be one of the ways to settle them. What a good way to train my EQ !
She’s now able to ask “What? Why? and Where?” I remember Colton started asking questions when he was older. Carina started asking “Where?” last Sunday when she saw Chris leaving the house, she asked “Ba Ba hui bean dough (where)?” I was surprised.
Learn MoreNow I know why he was asked to pick something green from outside. The teachers are teaching them mixing colours. “When blue hugs yellow, it turns GREEN!” Wow! Isn’t that magic? So at school, kids are exposed to mixing different kinds of green by adding different portions of blue and yellow. That’s what I was told by the teacher from the monthly general meeting. Colton is not able to tell the details about what was going on at school yet. The other day when I picked him up, I noticed that his clothing was changed. I asked why he was changed, he said “I don’t know.” I asked if his got wet, he said “I don’t know.” His language is still not advanced enough to trace back to what had happened.
Learn MoreAs a chinese canadian who’s been living in Canada for over 14 years, I wonder what chinese means to me in Canada. How often do I use it? Am I able to write chinese paragraph with correct grammar and correct words? As a mother of 2, do I want my kids to have the same chinese level as I do even if they’re in a totally different environment? I start to wonder………
I don’t deny that learning chinese is brutal. It’s not easy. Memorizing, recognizing and being able to write the characters with correct strokes involve a lot of repetative practices. I still remember how I learnt chinese by memorizing and dictating the characters. If a kid is submerged in a chinese world, then I can see the needs of mastering chinese. However, in Canada, I shifted the importance of mastering chinese to being able to survive with “just enough” chinese. I’ve heard of parents complaining that doing chinese assignments is a struggle between the mom and the kid. That turns to the leading thread to family issue. That eventually breaks the bonding in the family. What for?
To me, knowing how to read and write our chinese names is a must. Then the next is to be able to understand and speak chinese (Cantonese and Mandarin) fluently. Last but not least, is to be able to read chinese menu and chinese flyer from T & T supermarket. That’s what I mean by knowing “just enough” chinese. And be honest, that’s all I use chinese in day to day bases.
Learn MoreColton has an assignment due this coming Thursday. The teacher sent him a Zip Lock with the assignment instruction sheets in it. The assignment is “Pick something green from outside” then put it in the zip lock and bring it to school. It’s kind of tricky coz it would be much easier if it’s “Pick something orange or yellow from outside” Coz it’s dried leaves everywhere. Anyhow, we started observing outside and asked him to tell me what’s green outside. He says the trees are green, the grass is green. That sign (road sign) is green but too big to fit in the zip lock. I’m thinking what could be more interesting to bring other than a piece of grass. May be a garbage with green candy wrapping………….
Learn MoreThis morning Colton woke up early so he curled into my bed and stayed with me until he said “I want to go pee!” Then I said “Then go immediately and I’ll wait for you in my room.” He started to whine and say “Ma ma come, ma ma come.” I said “You can do it. I’m not leaving you alone, I can see you from my room.” He insisted me to go with him. I said ” It’s your choice of doing it now all by yourself and come snuggle with me when you’re done or you’ll wet your pants.” Then he said “Oh! No! It’s too late!” Then I said ” Too bad! I’ve already told you what will happen and you made your own choice. Now you need to clean up your own mess!” So I take some clean clothings, some clean towels for wipng the floor, some lysol wet naps and some wet naps for wiping himself. I guided him to do everything all by himself with my supervision. After all the cleaning, I asked what he should have chosen and does his like cleaning his mess. He said he should have gone by himself. I used the “common sense consequences” parenting skill and hope he understands cause and effects.
Learn MoreThe other day I drove the kids to one of the playgroups. At the parking lot, they saw a big garbage truck with 2 arms at the front which makes it able to pick up a big big commercial garbage bin. The arms pass thru the holes on the sides of the bin and the arms hold it upside down and drop all the garbage in a collector at the back of the truck. That’s one of Colton’s favourite things to watch. He says “Wow! Mom, that’s soooooo cool! When I grow up, I’ll read a lot of books, study hard and I’ll learn to drive that garbage truck and be a garbage man. Then I’ll teach you how to drive that truck coz I know you don’t know how.” I said “Good! Then don’t forget to study hard!” Isn’t that hilarious?
Learn MorePeople who know Carina realize that she has what I called “Stick to mom” symptom. She clings to me almost all the time and wouldn’t let other people to carry her even her dad when she was a baby. Recently, I noticed that this symptom has enormously improved. Although she still has her “5 minutes alert mode” turned on when “strangers” come visit us, she is usually playful, happy, entertaining and able to socialize in front of the “strangers”. So the comment that we get from the “strangers” is “Carina is a lot more fun to play with now”.
Learn MoreToday is the first time that Colton got his teeth cleaned. We were waiting at the waiting area and he was looking at all the halloween decoration. Then he was called by the hygenist and I wanted to go with him too. But since the room is tight, I was told to wait outside. So I did. Colton did very well. He was not scared. He didn’t cry or look for me. He understand what the hygenist said (all in English) and he picked the strawberry flavoured fluoride for his teeth. Then he came out with a new toothbrush and a big toy. He said the dental office is a fun place to go to and would like to go again tomorrow.
Well, for Carina…. she was like a little mouse and wouldn’t like any one to unbuckle her from her stroller. She was scared to death and ended up staying in her stroller. The dentist suggested us to go back in 6 months and try again.
Learn MoreColton can finally go to the bathroom and brush his teeth all by himself. They seem very trivial but there are a lot of steps involve in it. Last year this time he was learning to notice the needs of going to pee. Now, he can go to the bathroom, turn the lights on, put his pant down, aim at the toilet, go pee, tear a piece of toilet paper, wipe, throw it into the toilet, put his pant up, flush the toilet, go to the sink, step on the stool, put some soap on his hands, scrub, turn the tap water on, rinse, turn water off, wipe hands, turn the light off and all done. See there are almost 20 steps involve in it.
Now Carina sees Colton using the bathroom and wants to use it too. She can let me know if she needs to go poo most of the time. But sometimes she would say “Aw-C” or “Gup-C” even if she has nothing to go.
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